Hi! My name is Jasperline. I tell it like it is, okay? So, I was innocently tanning naked at a nudie beach. All a sudden, this bitch, Bognetta comes along, scoops me up, and tells me I can’t do that anymore. The nerve of that woman, God! Well, I fought and she took me kicking and screaming to her dressing parlor. Then she offered me tea and I couldn’t resist it, so I accepted. I started to have some psychedelic visions. So, I knew she must have spiked the tea! In my dazed dream, I thought she was using friendly snakes to measure my body with and I don’t even know how she managed to get them. I mean, I was giggling and laughing so much it was impossible to keep still. She pointed to a bed to sleep on, while she worked on a new dress and covered me gingerly with a nice warm plaid blankie. The room was spinning with friendly snakes, spider webs, and haystacks of needles with a piece of hay in each one. So, my job was to dream while Bognetta’s job was to think and create. Yellow was her color of choice for my dress and I guess she chose it to match my earrings. Anyways, when I awoke from my dizzy daze, she told me yellow signified intelligence. She’s not such a bitch after all. I mean she told me she doesn’t much care if I’m tanning at a nudie beach, but she’d rather see me buy myself a tanning bed if I wanted to do it naked. It’s the prying perverts she’d like me to be wary of. She’d rather be the one to find me once than have a group of men find me and have me several times over where I end up bruised, alone, and broken in spirit. Well, I hope you’ll help the world too by taking in wild strays like me. It’s the decent thing to do!
Mahalo! (Thank You!)